A Reflection on Four Years at NYU
A couple weeks ago, as my mom was sorting through old keepsakes and photo albums, she found one of my old notebooks. It was a journal from when I was in elementary or middle school. The prompts ranged from what I like to do on the weekends to what my favorite food is and, on one of the pages, I was supposed to write about my future. I wrote down two things: I want to live in New York and I am going to be a writer.
Four years ago, I moved into my dorm in New York City, getting ready to start my first semester at my dream school. I never thought I would get into NYU and I told myself even if by chance I did, I wouldn’t be able to afford to go. I did get in. I couldn’t afford to go. I went anyway.
Not many people can say they’ve lived their dream, but I can. Today I graduate from my dream school, in my favorite city in the world, with a Journalism (and Social & Cultural Analysis) major and a Creative Writing minor. I lived in New York. I am a writer.
Even though I was living the life I always wanted, I struggled a lot throughout my time in college. I felt lonely all the time. I know people say that New York is known for loneliness, but I felt like I was the only one who felt this way. I cried in my room alone more times than I can count. I cannot think of a time when I actually got a good night’s rest during college.
Most of this was during my first year. I try not to think about my freshman year at NYU. What was supposed to be the beginning of a new adventure was — and there’s no way to put this lightly — the roughest year of my life. I moved 1,296 miles away from my childhood home, the same place I had lived my entire life. I didn’t know anyone in New York or anywhere near it; not even a distant relative in New Jersey. There was one girl from my high school who went to NYU as well, whom I had only ever spoken to maybe twice before. I couldn’t help but think, “If anything happens, I’m on my own.” And I was.
A month into my first semester, I got a call from my father who then added my mother onto the call. And because my parents are divorced and don’t talk to each other like that, I knew it meant something was wrong. My uncle had passed away. I spent that entire night alone, packing and crying before I had to wake up the next morning to fly home by myself for the funeral.
A few months later — just a week before my birthday — I got my heart broken. And then, a month after that, I went through it all over again; my grandmother passed away. I found myself, again, in the same situation: getting on a plane and flying home to bury a family member that I wasn’t there to say goodbye to.
I was grieving their loss, feeling guilty that I hadn’t been there, and still managing a full-time student workload. I thought about taking a semester off, but instead threw myself into my schoolwork, reminding myself that it would all be worth it when I walked across that stage at Yankee Stadium to receive my diploma. (Spoiler alert: that doesn’t happen. Virtual graduation for the win.) My sophomore and junior year, things were better. Life wasn’t perfect, it never is, but I felt more comfortable.
This is not me complaining. It’s my reality; I hated my first year because I felt robbed of a traditional, exciting, fun freshman year. But looking back on these past four years, I didn’t have a traditional college experience at all. And, really, it’s okay. I didn’t want one. I never spent Sunday afternoons at tailgates and subsequent football games. I got an unconventional college experience; exactly what NYU promised me.
Not many people can say that in their time at college, they went to two live tapings of the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (one of which I showed up on TV) and a taping for Late Night with Seth Meyers. They may not be able to say they slept on the sidewalk for two days straight in 30-degree weather to see their favorite comedian on Saturday Night Live. Or, they weren’t able to finish up class for the day then head to a Broadway show, something people plan trips to do months in advance. Then, get to meet their favorite celebrities at those Broadway shows. Can they say they literally bumped into famous actors while crossing the street? (If Keegan Michael Key is reading this: sorry for bumping into you.) It’s unlikely that they were redirected on their walk to class because they’re filming Mr. Robot or Younger. And yes, I may have left class early on MET Monday and saw Zach Posen on his way to the MET Gala.
Some people got the college experience you dream about your whole life, the one they see in movies. Maybe I missed out on that experience, but my experience is so unique and was exactly what I wanted.
The person I was at the beginning of my time at NYU is very different than the person I am now. Both are authentically me, but so distinctly unique that they could be entirely different people. At the start of my NYU career, I had only ever lived in Miami. I thought I knew how the world worked, but I didn’t realize there was so much more to learn until I left home and everything I knew behind. Now, I’m more confident, more aware, more educated, and more eager for the future.
I absolutely, totally, with my whole heart, loved the time I spent at NYU. I loved all of my classes and my professors. I loved being in the city, with so much excitement and culture at every turn. I feel like my best self when I’m in New York. Just being there excites me. I hate the cold — I am a Miamian through and through — yet I’d find myself walking home instead of opting for the train just to soak in the city. If it sounds like I’m writing in clichés, it’s probably because I am. So many of the clichés about New York are true, even if some aren’t.
The past few years have undoubtedly been the most interesting in my life (so far). I have been beyond blessed to have the opportunities I’ve had. I’m grateful for the chance to live in New York, to go to NYU, and to receive the education I’ve received. I’m grateful to all my professors, friends, mentors, and classmates at NYU who have impacted my life tremendously. And especially to my family — my parents and my brothers — without whom I wouldn’t have made it through these past four years. They are the reason I’m the person I am today.
So, to the future, whatever it may hold: I look to you with a new degree, new excitement, and new dreams to fulfill.
